“Most actors are highly sensitive people.” Nicole Kidman
Many actors, performers and other artists have the personality trait of high sensitivity, or sensory processing sensitivity.
Shyness, introversion and high sensitivity may share some qualities, and they can overlap and interact, but they are not the same.
People can be highly sensitive and still be extroverts.
Psychologist Elaine Aron, PhD notes highly sensitive people (HSPs) are often called “shy” – but, she explains, “shyness is learned, not innate. In fact, 30% of HSPs are extraverts, although the trait is often mislabeled as introversion.”
From article Shyness, Introversion, Sensitivity – What’s the Difference?
Quotes here from artists relate to some of the qualities of high sensitivity – but I am not claiming to identify them as highly sensitive people.
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Jennifer Beals once said, “I get emotional all the time.
“I get emotional every time I make a speech, or talk about other cast members.
“Every now and again, my heart just explodes and expands.”
Laurel Holloman, her castmate on the Showtime series “The L Word,” has seen this firsthand:
“If Jennifer is passionate about something, it comes to the surface within seconds. My theory on that is all the best actors have a couple of layers of skin peeled away. There’s a huge emotional life in Jennifer, and it’s kind of beautiful.”
[From article The Real Beals, by Jancee Dunn, Lifetime lifetimetv.com, August 2004]
(Photo from article “Jennifer Beals: ‘You can never have enough stories about the queer community’” The Independent (UK) 29 January 2020.)
See information below on emotional responsiveness and high sensitivity.
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Frances McDormand thinks “With most people when there’s a pain in their life there’s mental scar tissue that forms over the pain and helps you go on living.
“An actor’s scar tissue really never covers over things the same way, not if you’re going to be sensitive.
“With good technique, an actor can do that and walk through life without going insane.”
She has also suggested: “You have to get away from the theater or from the set and live life.
“If you work constantly from job to job, you’re living in a fantasy world and you have nothing else to offer than fantasy.” [imdb profile]
[See more comments on pain below – by psychologist Cheryl Arutt and musician Sting.]
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Nicole Kidman has noted:
“I was a highly sensitive child, and the last thing my parents wanted was for their child to go in and get hurt…
“Most actors are highly sensitive people, but you have this incredible scrutiny. You have to develop a thick skin, but you can’t have a thick skin in your work.
“So it’s that constant push-pull of going, How do I stay human and vulnerable and real, and how do I, at the same time, not let all this affect me?”
From article: Nicole Kidman on fame, and actors as highly sensitive people.
She has commented about the emotionality of the work:
“You live with a lot of complicated emotions as an actor, and they whirl around you and create havoc at times. And yet, as an actor you’re consciously and unconsciously allowing that to happen…
“It’s my choice, and I would rather do it this way than live to be 100… Or rather than choosing not to exist within life’s extremities. I’m willing to fly close to the flame.” [Interview mag., Oct 2003]
(Photo: Nicole Kidman as Martha Gellhorn.)
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Qualities of being a highly sensitive person (HSP) – having the trait of sensory processing sensitivity.
Psychologist Elaine Aron thinks “ALL HSPs are creative, by definition.
“Many have squashed their creativity because of their low self-esteem; many more had it squashed for them, before they could ever know about. But we all have it…“
Dr. Aron summarizes the defining characteristics of being highly sensitive with four letters, DOES:
- “D” stands for depth of processing
- “O” being easily overstimulated
- “E” for emotional responsiveness and empathy…”both positive and negative emotions are stronger.”
- “S” sensitive to subtle stimuli
From article On Being a Highly Sensitive Person – a Trait With Strong Gifts and Challenges – includes comments by musician Alanis Morissette, who is featured in the documentary “Sensitive – The Untold Story,” based on the work of Dr. Elaine Aron and her research on the innate trait of high sensitivity, or sensory processing sensitivity.
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How to thrive with our personality trait of high sensitivity
Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) therapist and author Julie Bjelland, LMFT provides courses and other resources to “Transform stress, anxiety, and overwhelm into a sense of calm.”
She says, “HSPs have the capability of making a huge difference in the world…Your heart and your gifts are needed.
“But if we don’t know how to take care of ourselves in the right ways we are doing a disservice to the world by not showing up thriving.”
See videos and much more in article:
How To Thrive More As A Highly Sensitive Person
Learn about articles, books, podcasts, free and paid courses, a private community and more to help Highly Sensitive People thrive by Julie Bjelland, LMFT at her site Sensitive Empowerment.
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One of my related videos about being a Highly Sensitive Person:
Psychologist Cheryl Arutt notes, “Creative people do tend to be highly sensitive and an exquisite sensitivity is an asset when it comes to creating art.
“But that same sensitivity can often make painful experiences more so. Regarding oneself as a creative artist and someone who uses that sensitivity to communicate something about the world allows that sensitivity to be framed as an asset.”
Dr. Arutt also notes
“Creating art has always been a way to channel emotional intensity…”
She thinks that actors and other artists who are willing, in their creative work, to delve into the really “messy” feelings of being human (shame, devastations, disappointments, betrayals, traumas and more), probably have a relationship with those feelings.
But she adds “You don’t have to be in pain to do great work as an artist.”
Musician Sting admits he bought in to the myth of the “tortured artist” for a long time:
“Do I have to be in pain to write? I thought so, as most of my contemporaries did; you had to be the struggling artist, the tortured, painful, poetic wreck.
“I tried that for a while, and to a certain extent that was successful. I was ‘The King of Pain’ after all.
“I only know that people who are getting into this archetype of the tortured poet end up really torturing themselves to death.”
See more in article Do We Need Mental or Emotional Pain To Be Creative?
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One example of a man who sounds like he is a highly sensitive person, and had to learn to deal with negative attitudes from others, especially his father, is Bruce Springsteen.
In a magazine interview article, Michael Hainey notes that Springsteen described in his autobiography, Born to Run, how he saw himself as a boy, and how his father perceived him:
“Weirdo sissy-boy. Outcast. Alienated. Alienating. Shy. Soft-hearted dreamer.
“A forever-doubting mind. The playground loneliness . . .
“[I had] a gentleness, a timidity, shyness, and a dreamy insecurity.
“These were all the things I wore on the outside and the reflection of these qualities in his boy repelled [my father].
“It made him angry.”
Hainey adds, “He tells me his father made him ashamed that he was not hard like him but more like his mother.”
“My mother was kind and compassionate and very considerate of others’ feelings,” Springsteen said.
“She trod through the world with purpose, but softly, lightly. All those were the things that aligned with my own spirit.
“That was who I was. They came naturally to me.”
From article Are Highly Sensitive Men More Likely To Be Creative?
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Overwhelm can be a challenge
“And sometimes the HSC [highly sensitive child], like a perfect Cinderella, really is doing too much.” Elaine Aron, PhD in her book “The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them.”
She is also author of other books including The Highly Sensitive Person.
Photo: Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella – From Facebook / Moon Costumes.
Scarlett Johansson has noted some of what can make sensitivity challenging:
“I think I was born with a great awareness of my surroundings and an awareness of other people.
“I know when I really connect with somebody…
“Sometimes that awareness is good, and sometimes I wish I wasn’t so sensitive.
“I’m so happy I’m not walking around life with a cloud over my head, not really knowing which way to look or which way to turn.
“But then, on the other hand, sometimes you don’t wanna see what’s behind people’s doors.”
[Interview mag., July, 2001]
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Creative people tend to be both extroverted and introverted, usually more one way than the other.
“I’m very sensitive in real life. I cannot not cry if someone around me is crying…even if it’s not appropriate. I have that thing in me, a weakness or sensitivity.” Jessica Chastain
Jessica Chastain is such a powerful, dynamic and emotionally expressive actor, in films including “The Tree of Life”; “The Debt”; “Zero Dark Thirty,” “Molly’s Game” and many others.
She was awarded the 2022 Oscar for Actress in a Leading Role for her performance in ‘The Eyes of Tammy Faye.’
She has made a number of comments that relate to being highly sensitive, as well as introverted and shy – these are different experiences, but for many of us they overlap.
“I’m inspired by people who are so sensitive and vulnerable that they try to cover it up.”
She has commented on rehearsals: “They’ll say, Save it, save it. I tell them: Don’t worry. I have a bottomless well of tears.”
She has also commented about earlier in life, perhaps when she was a student at Juilliard:
“I’m not the girl at the club on the table. I’m going to be the one in the corner, quiet and so I don’t call attention to myself.”
“I was the girl who cut school to go to the park, and the other kids would be smoking and drinking and I’d be reading Shakespeare.”
“I walk the dogs, I play the ukulele, I cook. I’m not a girl who goes to big parties – I’m shy.”
“For me, fashion is incredibly emotional. I go to shows in Paris and try not to cry. Fashion is the expression of, This is how I am feeling today.”
Her comment about “weakness or sensitivity” probably reflects the kinds of disparaging attitudes and criticism many non-sensitive people have about those who are sensitive.
See more in article Jessica Chastain and Psychologists On Being a Highly Sensitive Person.
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Taye Diggs says he has been acting for as long as he has been shy, and has an interesting perspective on using acting:
“I wouldn’t say my insecurities and shyness have lessened just because of expressing myself through acting, but what has a role in my becoming more confident is the kind of false sense of adoration you get from the business… because I was so insecure, it gives me a reason to be a little more confident.”
From my interview with him years ago, quoted in my article: Shyness and High Sensitivity – On Stage or Off.
Another of many examples of shy actors: According to a news story, “Shyness was an ongoing problem for Chris Cooper… While studying at the University of Missouri, he vowed to get ‘unblocked.’
“Taking dance classes at nearby Stephens College, he was one of only three men amid a roomful of women… Acting was another means of expression — ‘theater, as therapy,’ he says.”
Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., M.F.T., is an author, researcher, psychotherapist and authority on introversion.
On her site a long list of “famous introverts” including: Joan Allen, Harrison Ford, Candice Bergen, Ingrid Bergman, Helen Hunt, Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford, Tom Hanks, Steve Martin, Noah Wiley, and others
From my article: Introverted, Shy or Highly Sensitive in the Arts.
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Julie Christie has said, “I found films to be turbulent and stressful. They have caused me an enormous amount of anxiety, because I do not have a lot of confidence. You are working, intellectually and mentally, and you are having to be with people and socialize all the time.
“Actors like it, on the whole, but I was not born with that quality. I am very quiet and would much prefer to talk to a few people rather than a crowd.” //
“I could never really see the point of being high-profile when I loathed it so much. Every now and then, you can go to something like an Oscars ceremony, but nobody is holding a gun to your head. The rules were the same 40 years ago as they are now. You can either choose your spotlight – or you can stay at home.” [imdb.com]
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Winona Ryder has commented, “I’ve never been a suicidal person.
“But there have definitely been times when I’ve thought, I’m too sensitive for this world right now; I just don’t belong here – it’s too fast and I don’t understand it.”
[I have used this quote for years, but have also lost track of the source; same for some other quotes here.]
Ellen Muth [in the TV series Dead Like Me] has noted her character George/Georgia does care about people, “but she puts on this front like she doesn’t really care about anything and I kind of like that.
“George’s sensitivity is very hidden, but when it slips out she very quickly makes it so nobody else sees it… George tries to hide her emotions and I tend to do that.”
She adds, “One of the great things about acting is that you are able to release all sorts of things through another character.”
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Related:
List of actor-related articles.
Claire Danes on being shy and high achieving. In an interview when she was about 15, she said, “I never thought of myself as shy, and then I realized I am kind of shy; I’ve just built defenses to hide it.”
Using Your High Sensitivity Personality As an Actor – Many actors are highly sensitive and use this trait to be even more creative. But it can lead emotional overwhelm, if you don’t take care of yourself.
Photo: “Solitude has its own very strange beauty to it.” Liv Tyler – from article: Introverted, Shy or Highly Sensitive in the Arts.
The Gifted Introvert – Psychologist Elaine Aron comments that Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking “is actually more about HSPs (highly sensitive people) than social introverts.”
She adds, “Her discussion of ‘introversion’ throughout is almost identical to what has become the standard definition of high sensitivity—deep thinkers, preferring to process slowly, sensitive to stimuli, emotionally reactive, needing time alone, and so forth…”
Shyness and High Sensitivity – On Stage or Off.
Winona Ryder, Heath Ledger and Other Creators On Being Highly Sensitive.
Talented and shy – Jane Fonda, Evan Rachel Wood, Nicole Kidman.
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Douglas Eby (M.A./Psychology) is author of the Creative Mind series of sites which provide “Information and inspiration to help creative people thrive.”
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